omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
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