What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
