he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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