My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
