so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He felt like a one man threesome
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
