My nipple is on Facebook.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
