wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
