You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
