I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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