when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Two words: nipple clamps
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