Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
