If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
