very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize