i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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