WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
