Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
