Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize