How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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