At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
