I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am spending my child support on dildos
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize