Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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