Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
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