wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
