I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the condom got lost in my hair
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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