You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
