Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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