im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
