nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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