these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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