It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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