i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize