It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
