Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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