he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We had to coat check the pizza.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
