Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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