I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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