that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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