That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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