Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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