We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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