When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
