i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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