thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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