Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
