It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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