That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
