i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
