thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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