Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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