If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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