I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize