it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
