I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
not ubering you a puppy
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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