I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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