All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
