okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
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My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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