honey bunches of taint.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
