I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
