hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
