And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
