Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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